His Darkest Relationship Fears

There are certain fears that haunt every man in a relationship. The male mind tends to plant seeds of doubt in any relationship, resulting in self-sabotage. These doubts keep us up at night, reminding us of the things we are going to face the next day and lead to unfounded anxieties. All of this is really counterproductive as it leads to more doubts, doubts about anything and everything.

So, it is not really a surprise that some incredibly intrusive thoughts crawl up in the minds of the men when they think a little too much about the relationships that they are in. They may be able to dismiss them if they are able to calm themselves down, but often a man becomes overwhelmed once his fears are awakened.

As a coach, I haven’t worked with as many men as women. This is not because I don’t like working with men. In reality, it is because men usually see a therapist for different reasons than what most women see a therapist for.

Men usually visit a therapist for one reason: they are in a relationship, they are scared, and they don’t know what to do. They don’t really care about the reasons or insights behind it; all they want to know is how they can fix it.

Men usually want a quick solution for these fears and how they can make it better for themselves and their partners. Such men have a certain pattern in common. The key to helping them out is to identify this pattern.

What is it that made them see a therapist and seek help?
What helped them overcome their embarrassment?
What are the things that they fear about in their relationships?

Thinking about all these questions and trying to find their answers led me to the three most common fears that men have in relationships and how to overcome them. Without any further ado, let’s find out all about them.

Fear #1: He Will Not Be Able to Make You Happy

The biggest fear men have is that they will not be able to make a woman happy in a relationship. For men, making and keeping the woman happy is a boost to their self-esteem. He will measure the happiness of his woman from the emotional responses he gets from her.

Many women tell their men, “Oh, I liked what you did,”, but they say it with no emotions at all in their response. This is where the problem begins. He feels that he isn’t making you happy. He will become discouraged and may as well quit trying after a while. Some men see ending the relationship as the best resort.

Here is what you can do:
Rather than pretending to like something you actually don’t, here is a simple solution. Show your emotions when you are happy and pleased, even if it seems silly. What may seem silly to you may actually make his day and his efforts worthwhile. Such small gestures can keep relationships happy and strong.

Fear #2: He Fears Being Powerless

Most of the men fear that you are out of control and they cannot influence you. When they are in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t stop spending money, drinking or having affairs, etc., men become cautious about marriage. They keep dating you because of the attraction and infatuation, but getting into a relationship as serious as marriage is not an option that they have in mind.

What makes him want to marry you depends on how much you allow him to influence you. This is exactly what will make him adore you even after you become his wife. It is not that you are going to hurt him or anything; it’s just that you could. This is another big fear men have in their relationships; the fear of getting hurt and eventually feeling powerless.

What to do about this fear?

Just stop focusing on trying to be perfect. Running after perfection is not only a waste of time, the key is to admit when you are wrong as soon as you realize it and apologize before it gets too late. This will make him know that you value his presence, efforts and love and that you will not hurt him.

Fear #3: He Isn’t Enough for You

Another big fear is the fear of not being enough for his girl. This is also one of the hardest ones to notice when you are a woman, but this is something that every man fears. Some of them don’t admit to this fear, while others show it often. This is probably why most men have a strong drive to accomplish things. This helps them validate their masculinity, as well as keep them confident that you are not going anywhere else.

Men have an innate need to prove to themselves that they are competent, strong and in total control of their environment. However, regardless of this talent that men have, they often find themselves in circumstances that catch them off-guard. These incidents make them doubt their masculine powers, leading to doubts in their relationship.

Here is what you can do to make sure this doesn’t happen to your man:
Do you try to comfort your man when you see him discouraged?
While you may be doing it in good spirit, it is often not helpful and certainly not enough.

This isn’t what he needs right now. What you need to do is help him overcome his problem by focusing on his abilities. That is what a man needs at these crucial moments, and the way you deal with it will make him more fearful that he isn’t enough for you or make him calm and relaxed knowing that he is enough for you. It’s your call!

Using this simple guide will help your man overcome his fears.

Do you see your man overwhelmed or upset by a problem?

Wait until you have his undivided attention and look him in the eye while you say, “I don’t know how you’ll fix this, but I know you will. I’ve seen you do it so many times before.”

Once you do, watch the look in his eyes. Being able to reach into a man’s soul like this is what makes a woman captivating. Those moments are what bond a man to you for life and make him swear off all other women, just like it did for Anna.